Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Of...

You know one of my very closed relatives expired today. She had been not keeping well for the last two weeks or so and had slipped into coma. Today she passed away. As soon as I came home, mummy told me. I don't know ya..God works in strange ways. Today while I was having lunch, there was this call that had come on my cell. It was from an unknown number but somehow it looked familiar. I wasn't able to pick up the phone, but the first thought that had come to my mind was that something is wrong and I immediately thought about her that something has happened to her. But I didn't call back the number, neither did mummy call me to tell about her and I forgot about it. Now, when I reached home and mummy told me then I realised that it was maybe one of my cousins who maybe had called me. I am not feeling good since then ya. May she rest in peace. I don't know but saying the serenity prayer actually gives me some peace.
Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference..
I am not a big fan of family relatives but for the last 3-4 months, I have seen some things that have brought a change in my attitude. Whatever be the case, whenever something happens to us, it is our family people who come to support us. Papa was not keeping well for sometime and it was my uncle who stays next door came to his help. Same, when Mummy was not well, it was auntie who stays came door came to help her. Whatever small issues that we may have, family is family ya. I now respect them even more because we should value those people who come to your help when you are down. Chahe jaise bhi hon, kuch bhi ho sab bhaage bhage aate hain..
And you know all her life, she worked so hard and did not used to spend much. As soon as she had retired, she thought life will be easy but God has different plans. Within a week of retirement, she had jaundice and TB that had spread to the brain. She slipped in a coma but recovered somewhat though still had to frequent to hospitals. Then after a two years of being not well, she had a heart problem. And finally she passed away this time. And my auntie remarked that all her life she kept on saving..on her death, it rained so hard today that not even a tent was put for her..maybe she had to save on this as well. Ya seriously life is unpredictable. Kisse pata tum 40 tak zinda rahoge ya nahi..

RIP..

 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Of Soulmates, Character Books, Being Quiet, and Insecurity...


Hmm..Long time no see.. Ever since I have written about Imran's poetry, the blog has been flooded with visitors from around the world. There have been nearly 5000 visitors. I don't know is it a good thing or not. I felt a bit weird because the kind of things I have written on my blog are so personal, and seeing these flood of visitors made me feel a bit naked. But it is ok.. And I will never ever monetise my blog. It is something very personal to me. And moreover, people are coming for Javed Saab's poetry not mine..so it is not ethical to make money out of somebody else's work. Anyway there is this very sweet visitor Tinkerbell, who finds my blog just like hers. She commented the following on one of the posts

I am speechless. Ever since I chanced upon your blog I havent been able to stop reading. And as I read each post and each line I cannot believe that there is actually a MALE like me! Im female BTW..:-)

But this post - again I'm at a loss for words - its SOOOO ME...I have heard & read about cosmic connections but never experienced it..well maybe im too practical thinking for that! But agan I really dont know what to say anymore....with each post I'm going - this is me! this is me! - sounds corny right? but well yeah there you have it!! :-) 

I chanced upon this Blog while searching for the poetry from ZNMD. I am a blogger myself and I cannot believe that there is someone like me, with similar tastes and likes. My blog is also very personal and its a place where i vent and fume - my diary and your blog just made me think of mine in some way. I love the same soaps as you - Friends, Greys Anatomy, - and reading some topics like Letting Go - even I blogged about it!!!....But of course I didn't give in any examples from Grey's but reading your post on it - if I had given any examples - it would most defo have been the same ones!!!.....

That is so sweet no? This reminds me of the dialogue from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara when Kabira says "Duniya me kahi bhi jao, log same hi hote, it is human nature." But it is very sweet of her to mail me this. Thanks so much Tinkerbell..It will be nice Tinkerbell, if you are reading this, to share your blog link with me.. Maybe we can discuss about things more :)
It is just like that scene from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. when Monica meets her soul mate who is just like her..who cooks exactly the same dishes..who like the same ingredients..much to the chagrin of Chandler ;) BTW it was Phoebe who predicted using tea leaves reading that Monica is going to meet her soul mate :) 


Do you think soul mates exist? I don't know.. Co-incidentally, the past week I asked S about her fiance..she said that he is just like her..he is her male version except that she is a bit more outgoing and he is more shy but both of them like the same things..the same movies..the same behavior in situations..Hmmm..Something to think more about..Has it necessarily to be of the opposite sex..Can two men or women be soul mates (ala Chritsina and Meredith in Grey's)..Will think about it..


So, what else is new? I watched Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara again with office friends. I loved it even more..Finally learnt new dialogues..I loved Laila's philosophy towards life..The first time I had loved Imran..this time I loved Imran even more and Arjun as well..there is an Arjun in all of us. Arjun's transformation is what completely stands out in the film.  Imran loved open spaces (like his love for open cars)..maybe that is why he was feeling guilty of hiding his secret about his father..or as a cover for his secretive poetry.. And Arjun was more closed..he chose a SUV over the car.. And also, in of the scenes Kabir is reading this book - The New York Trilogy. Wikepedia says 
The New York Trilogy is a series of novels by Paul Auster. Originally published sequentially as City of Glass (1985), Ghosts (1986) and The Locked Room(1986), it has since been collected into a single volume. Ostensibly presented as detective fiction, the stories of The New York Trilogy have been described as "meta-detective-fiction", "anti-detective fiction", "mysteries about mysteries", a "strangely humorous working of the detective novel", "very soft-boiled", a "metamystery" and a "mixture between the detective story and the nouveau roman." The first story, City of Glass, features a detective-fiction writer become private investigator who descends into madness as he becomes embroiled in a case. It explores layers of identity and reality. The second story, Ghosts, is about a private eye called Blue, trained by Brown, who is investigating a man named Black on Orange Street for a client named White. Blue writes written reports to White who in turn pays him for his work. Blue becomes frustrated and loses himself as he becomes immersed in the life of Black. The Locked Room is the story of a writer who lacks the creativity to produce fiction.


Do these stories have a relation to Kabir's character. I don't know but it is interesting to see the theme of the book 1 about identity and reality. Maybe that is why he did not like Natasha to lose her identity. That is why he did not want he and Natasha to be Do Jism Ek Jaan types as he wants to retain his individuality.. I don't know is it a conscious decision by Zoya to add this as a reference. At  one point, Imran is also reading a book. It was too hard to read its name..


Anyways, this week I went to bowling as well with my unit. It was the first time I bowled. I did not score well. I think was second or third last ;P Theek hai..Then we had dinner.. I don't know what happens I am just not comfortable with people I don't know really well. I was sitting with some members of my unit. It is not that they are bad people, it is just that I don't know what to talk. At one point, S remarked "Pankaj looks so bored" :( I was messaging H (who was sitting at the far end of the table) on his cell and talking to him using sign language that I am so bored :{ My mom keeps on scolding me to talk to relatives but I don't know.. I feel shy. I have very very few close friends (as A diligently remarked in of our lunch talk sessions) who I can say anything but for others there is this slight air of formality that is always there when I talk to them. Then Ar tells me that I shouldn't have perceptions about people..and not think too much and stop thinking that I am a bad person. And she said environment is nothing but what we want to see..I totally agree..if you find flaws in yourself, you will find flaws in others too..which has been happening to me. I don't like 99 of the hundred people I meet and feel that those 99 don't like me as well. I know my flaws but it is very difficult to change..I will try :)

And you know I have started this Hindi films quiz in office in which I send out a question to my unit everyday about Hindi films (no use of Bollywood, it is such a wannabe word). Who so ever answers the fastest, wins the quiz and the one who answers the maximum at the end of the month will get a gift. The last week while thinking about questions, I have myself learnt so many things that I didn't know of. I guess I will start another blog of mine where I will only post these film questions (after all film question sochna ko aasan kaam nahi hai :P) It is called Cinema Paradiso :)

And also, you know..the past two weeks, I have learnt a new thing about myself. I always thought that I am a very secure person in terms of friends. That once I made friend, they will be there for me. But lately, I have become very insecure about some people in my life. I just don't want to lose them. Now when I see my friend is going out with others and making new friends, I feel that he/she will forget me and I will lose the importance that I have in his/her life. Why do I need constant reassurance from them that I am their friend? Why am I so anxious? Is it because I don't trust them? Why am I behaving like this? I totally believe in giving space to an individual..but isn't then my feeling of insecurity contrary to giving them space? I don't know ya..but I don't want to lose 'you' ever :( When you sent this message to me, I felt reassured that I mean something to you..thanks so much ya :| I will try... 

And finally, H told me a very sweet thing this week. He said that he wants to make people happy so he says things to them which will make them happy. That is his 'thing'..his 'specialty'. He told that whenever he meets his friend, he always compliments her that she is so beautiful and pretty because she is pretty and it makes her feel nice and happy. That is so sweet no? Such a nice thought?  I don't even have any 'thing' of my own. Wait. I don't even have a 'friend' who I can say this too :}

Anyways, will write more later..till then Chao :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Of Stumbling upon Lovely Lines from Kal Ho Na Ho...


Stumbled upon this amazing dialogue from Kal Ho Na Ho..What a dialogue ya..amazing! I think it comes when Aman pretends to read from Rohit's dairy when Naina finds out that Aman has been helping Rohit to woo her.


नैना  काश  मैं  तुम्हे  बता  सकता, मैं  तुम्हे  कितना  चाहता  हूँ
I love you, I love you very very much Naina
मैं  आँखे  बंद  करता  हूँ  तो  तुम्हे  देखता  हूँ
आँखे  खोलता  हूँ  तो  तुम्हे  देखना  चाहता  हूँ
तुम  पास  नहीं  होती  तो  तुम्हे  चारो  तरफ  महसूस  करता  हूँ
हर  पल  हर  घडी  हर  वक़्त  मेरे  नैना  मेरी  नैना  को  ढून्दते  हैं
इसे  प्यार  कहो  पागलपन  या  मेरे  दिल  की  धड़कन
मेरे  लिए  एक  ही  बात  है
प्यार  तो  बहुत  लोग  करते  हैं
लेकिन  मेरे  जैसा  प्यार  कोई  नहीं  कर  सकता
क्योंकि  किसी  के  पास  तुम  जो  नहीं  हो
मैं  तुम्हे  भूल  नहीं  सकता  नैना
मैं   तुम्हे  भूलना  ही  नहीं  चाहता
तुम  मेरी  हो , में  तुम्हे  ज़िन्दगी  भर  प्यार  करूँगा
मरते  दम  तक  प्यार  करूँगा  और  उसके  बाद  भी..

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Of Imran's Poetry in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

In the 24 hours since I wrote about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, there has been a flood of people who have come searching for Imran's poetry. I have finally found four of those poems (found in the Facebook status of the official movie page). Here are the four of them..they are magic..the use of words hits your soul like a thunderbolt, conveying the message to enjoy life to the fullest. Some films change your life. This one changed something in me.

Some of the poems have been written by Raghupati Sahay Firaaq. I don't know which ones, but some are penned by Javed Akhtar. We are indeed very lucky to have you. Thank you for making us realize how shallow we have become. How lost we are. Thank you for giving us some magical moments that will serve as a talisman whenever we lose life's meaning. Enjoy the magic below and fall in love with life all over again.
Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai
Yeh jo gehre sannate hain
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai...


Ik baat honton tak hai jo aayi nahin
Bas ankhon say hai jhaankti
Tumse kabhi, mujhse kabhi 
Kuch lafz hain woh maangti
Jinko pehanke honton tak aa jaaye woh
Aawaaz ki baahon mein baahein daalke ithlaye woh
Lekin jo yeh ik baat hai
Ahsas hi ahsas hai
Khushboo si hai jaise hawa mein tairti
Khushboo jo be-aawaaz hai
Jiska pata tumko bhi hai
Jiski khabar mujhko bhi hai
Duniya se bhi chupta nahin
Yeh jaane kaisa raaz hai...

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama, 
Neeli neeli si khamoshiyan, 
Na kahin hai zameen 
Na kahin aasmaan, 
Sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan, 
Keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan, 
Bas main hoon, 
Meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein, 
Aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan, 
Aur main...Sirf main. 
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.

Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Nazar mein khwabon ki
Bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise
Aazad rehno sikho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise
Lehron mein behna sikho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo
Khole apni bhaayein
Har ek pal ek naya samha
Dekhen yeh nigahaein
Jo apni aankhon mein
Hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara :) First Day First Show ;-) Duniya ke sare sukh ek taraf, aur first day first show koi acchi picture dekhne ki khushi ek taraf :) I have been waiting for this film since Zoya announced it for the last two years. I absolutely loved Luck By Chance and consider it one of the finest films in and about Hindi cinema. Crocodile in a chiffon saree! Here is the link to the film that I had written about it. Anyway, I had not been feeling well as soon as I reached home on Thursday. I decided not to go to the office on Friday, but the thought of a three-day weekend is exhilarating. And how can I not watch this movie, then? :)
I will not write a full review and have stopped, but I will write what I liked and remembered. 

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is a story of three friends and their journey across Spain. The three friends had made a pact in college that they would go on a road trip, and each of them would choose an adventure on the trip, which the other two had to do. Zoya beautifully captures their journey as they relive their past and confront their inner demons to create a better future for themselves. 

The film is so beautiful that it is hard not to fall in love. The excellent cinematography by Carlos Catalan is simply out of this world, and it made me want to go to Spain immediately. Just as Mani Ratnam's Raavan was a photographer's delight, this film also captures Spain with a splendor unmatched in recent times. 
I totally loved Farhan's character, Imran, a copywriter by profession and a secret poet, and how he deals with unanswered questions about his abandoned painter father. Imran used to speak such deep lines in poetry as sheer magic. The poems were penned by Javed Akhtar, as the film mentioned. I have been trying to search the lines on the Internet but have not been as successful as now. I seriously wish they bring out a poetry section in the DVD. It will be a collector's treat. I tweeted to Farhan Akhtar and Javed Saab to tell us these lines. Farhan wrote these lines on Twitter (I guess many people would be asking him to do that). 

पिघले नीलम सा बहता ये समां, नीली नीली  सी  खामोशियाँ , न  कहीं  है  ज़मीन  न  कहीं  आसमान , सरसराती  हुई  टहनियां  पट्टियां , कह  रहीं  है  बस  एक  तुम  हो  यहाँ , बस  मैं  हूँ , मेरी  सांसें  हैं  और  मेरी  धडकनें , ऐसी  गहराइयाँ , ऐसी  तन्हैयाँ , और  मैं ... सिर्फ  मैं . अपने  होने  पर  मुझको  यकीन   आ  गया. 

These lines come in perhaps the scene's best film when Arjun (Hrithik) finally does deep-sea diving, and there are tears in his eyes, a cathartic moment where he realizes the beauty of life and the importance of pausing to hear your breath. Such a spellbinding scene that is. 
In one scene in the film, Imran says his poetry is inspired by Raghuati Sahay Firaaq. I have googled about it, but I could find nothing about him. Indeed, Javed Ji used references by Firaaq while penning these lines. Must find more.

The book Cuckold talks about how sex is more of a feeling than an act. The narrator says in the book:  
"Is the mystery of the body in the clothes?  
Is it in the knots that tie the strings that tie the clothes? 
Is sex watching putting on her anklets?
Is sex seeing her shaking her hair loose, gathering it together, and twist it into a bun?
Is it taking a vermilion powder on her right index finger and zeroing it effortlessly to the center of her forehead and spreading a perfect tikka on it?
Is it her hands cupping together to hold water from the bucket, closing her eyes, and splashing water on her face? 
Is it the unconscious and voluntary gestures that she goes through every day?" 

I think I have fallen in love with Imran's poetry. It has to be felt from within, and only it can bring about the catharsis it aims for. 

The true star of the film is undoubtedly Zoya Akhtar. She creates such genuine moments of tenderness between her characters that one is left simply amazed by their brilliance. Perhaps she is one of the very directors who understands human emotions and relationships. Could it be easy for a female director to create a story about three male characters with such nuances and details? 

Her subtlety stands out from the rest, and as some said, it is an adult film for people with adult brains. That scene where the three of them fight when Imran throws Arjun's phone is created so poignantly..that how adults turn into kids in a moment. 

Zoya leaves the audience to read more about her character's traits–like the initial scene where Imran and Arjun are packing their clothes, one could make out that Arjun is more organized (clothes are neatly ironed and kept in an organized way in the suitcase) whereas Imran is more casual (simply takes out clothes from the almirah and dumps them in the bag without any order) 

Or that song, Khwaabon Ke Parinday, that is so beautiful. The scene where the horse comes is sheer magic :) 
This is perhaps the first film I have loved Katrina's acting because her character is so refreshing. When Arjun and Laila (Katrina) are watching the stars, she says, 'Insaan ko Dabbay mein marne ke baad hee jaana chahiye.' Or when she rides this bike to kiss Arjun and says 'Mujhe afsos nahi karna aata' or the scene where she says 'Kisse pata tum 40 tak zinda bhi rahoge ya nahi.' She brings grace to Laila and it suits her perfectly.

Farhan Akhtar is a revelation. He gets the best lines and is a scene-stealer. His character resembles a mix of Siddharth and Aakash from Dil Chahta Hai. The goofiness that he brings out in Imran appears to be his natural quality. Whether it be Aaksh from Dil Chahta Hai, Karthik from Karthik Calling Karthik, or Imran from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, it appears that Farhan is like this in real life. 

I also liked Abhay's character. Although the Sigmund Freud game he suggested to bring out the problem in you was clearly inspired by Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, I liked it when he said that he didn't want Natasha to stop working after marriage was Natasha, the interior designer whom he liked. 
Some of the film's other rich moments were—
Sorry tabhi hi bolna chahiye yahan (dil) se nikle..
Sach kya hai..kar kisi ka apna ek version..

All three adventure sports were so spectacularly shot.

The deep-sea diving—The way Laila guides Arjun is sheer poetry in motion..the sunlight, the bubbles, the blue color, and the fish. Amazing.

The sky diving–The way the three of them join their hands in the blue sky, signifying their bond of friendship..and how they overcome their fears 

The bullfight—Stunningly shot with the message not to give up without a fight, giving a perfect climax.

After a long, a film has given me so much creative satisfaction. After Dhobi Ghaat, this is perhaps the only film with a layered story and characters. I might have gone overboard, but I simply loved the movie. Do watch it, and since I know Spanish a bit, it was so much fun to understand without the need for subtitles :) 

Dil Chahata Hai or Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. I think both :)

I will end by these amazing lines from the film -
दिलों  में  तुम  अपनी  बेताबियाँ  लेके  चल  रहे  हो, तोह  जिंदा  हो  तुम .. नज़र  में  ख़्वाबों  की  बिजलियाँ  लेके  चल  रहे  हो , तोह  जिंदा  हो  तुम ... दिलों  में  तुम  अपनी  बेताबियाँ  लेके  चल  रहे  हो , तोह  जिंदा  हो  तुम . नज़र  में  ख़्वाबों  की  बिजलियाँ  लेके  चल  रहे  हो, तोह  जिंदा  हो  तुम .

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Of God, Rain, Lesson from Wipers, and End of Day


Long time no see.. The past week in office has probably been the toughest till now ever since I have started working. There was literally humongous work and some real long hours averaging 12.5 hours for the last 7 days :{ On Friday, I had gone to office well prepared that I am going to spend my entire night in office. I had also taken food and snacks (with large packet of cheese balls and biscuits) for the night :) Sympathy eating makes me feel slightly better. After reaching at 11.30  the previous night (i.e. on Thursday), I had thought I will go  office myself on Friday, a bit early to finish off the never ending work. But I don't know God works in strange ways. When I woke up in the morning, I got this feeling 'Let me go by cab only'. So I decided to go by cab. And in the morning just before I was about to leave, I saw a dead rat beneath the table :( Bad omen 1.. and while going to office, there was this dead dog on the road..RIP.. Bad omen 2.. I couldn't help but get this eerie feeling that it is not going to be a good day! And then it started raining heavily while on the way. And I just thanked God..what if I had got stuck if I had gone myself..Only the cab maneuvering skills of Salim Bhaiya made it possible to reach office on time otherwise I was gone. 

So while going to office, since it started raining, how can I not click pictures..

This one is on the Modi Mill flyover..


The one below is just outside D's house..


The one below is at Mahamaya..


And no, the following one is not the Yamuna, it is Mahamaya flyover again !!


Also, made this video. I have been watching it since yesterday. It's nothing great but it's calming. I like the wiping motion of the wipers. If one looks carefully, one can find such wonderful instances anywhere. Now, see the video below..there is a lesson that wipers teach us..No matter how hard the rain is falling on them, they keep on doing their job. And all its work is being continuously negated by the rain..as soon as it wipes off the drops, another set of rain drops has already fallen on it! But still it keeps on wiping the drops. It happens in life as well.. There will be obstructions coming in your way that will make your path blurred but you have to        stay positive and focused. And isn't this somewhat similar to what Krishna said in Geeta "karam kar, phal ki chinta mat kar."


And this is what has been actually happening to me the last week. I make a PPT everyday and the next day, our client says to change some figure and then I have to again change everything because the kind of project I am doing, one figure changes the entire output!! And it is so frustrating to change everything again almost negating the previous day work..but it is the work that I have to do no? 

And while going to office, when it had started raining, I was thanking God for not making me stuck in jam, within 2 minutes of that, the song that blares out in the radio - तू ना जाने आस पास है खुदा from Anjaana Anjaani!! 

So the entire day I was just so worried about work as to how am I going to finish it. Both A and Ar continuously asked me about the progress and told me to stay positive.  And H came to my seat at least 4-5 times (inspite of me sitting just opposite him) saying that my face showed how worried I was! (He said "vaise all day you do quack quack like a duck but today you are quiet") Thanks ya so much! I seriously wonder how would I survive in office if these people are not there.

And so how it turns out finally.. we send a WIP file at 7 PM and then have a call at 7.30 PM to tell her that we will send the complete files by the end of day her time in the US. But as I said God works in strange ways. She said that you people have been working so hard, so no need to send the file tonight. Take a break on weekend and we will discuss it on Monday!! And she especially told me "Pankaj, I am a firm believer in taking weekend breaks. I know you have been working on it very hard. Thanks so much for it and please do take a break." I mean I never expected this! My PL and I were super happy and he told me to leave immediately :) And off I ran to tell A who was still in office :) I was so happy. And then I called H and disrupted him in his girl-friend-meeting-time :P

A day to remember..but still there is a lot of work left. I just pray that it all goes well


And following are the pics of the deserted office on one of the last few days in office. Usually there are 5-6 people working but seriously on Thursday there was no one I mean no one!! in office at 11 PM. Even my PL wasn't there. It was a bit scary when the server makes a snoring like noise :{ But it's ok.. Life goes on..Everything is a learning experience. Till then adios.. Hasta Leugo :)





       

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Happy Birthday to Blog :)

Happy Birthday to my blog..it turns 4 today :).. Can't believe it is four years since I started blogging..I have shared my entire life with you..You are special and will always be..Thanks for being there..you have been my companion through thick and thin :)
As for presents, a new makeover will soon be given..Have fun :P

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Of Letting Go!

So the theme for this week's cosmic connection theory is letting go :(  You know how badly I have been missing someone for the last few days..sob sob! So I finally decided to let go. I realized that I have to get over it. I have come to terms with it and maybe need a little more time. I will be fine. So I see and hear things related to letting go everywhere.

On twitter, on Thursday a friend of mine randomly tweeted - "The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real." -The Notebook (2003)

And on Facebook, one of my friend's status was - "Letting go of someone is the best way to say I love you so much that I could give up my happiness for you"

And yesterday I watched Grey's Anatomy Season 7 Episode 22 and you won't believe what its them was "Letting Go" - what a co-incidence is that! The entire episode was based on this :(

So there is this brilliant scene in which Henry says to Teddy, "I really tried to be a gentleman about all this, but now you need to get the hell out. Letting you go was the worst thing I've ever done. It's the most painful thing I've ever done, and I'm a guy who's had 82 surgeries. My threshold for pain is pretty high. You need to get out. I'm not your best bud. I'm not your security blanket. I'm a man who's in love with you, who waltzed you into the arms of a damn knight on a horse. So, go to Germany and have little spaetzle-eating children. And please, for God's sake, leave me alone."



And then Lexie and Mark have this conversation
Lexie: You have to stop. You gotta stop talking to me and checking on me and talking to my boyfriend. I love you, and I'm always gonna love you, but I don't want to love you. I want to be happy, and Jackson makes me happy. And if you keep pulling at me, I'll come back to you.

Mark: You're right, I'm sorry.
Lexie: You got what you wanted you wanted a family so please just let me have what I wanted.
Mark: I said you're right. I told Avery I was letting you go. Did he tell you that part?
Lexie: Yes, it's paternalistic and weird.
Mark: I'm letting you go, Lexie. That means you've got to walk away

And Meredith made this amazing quote at the end

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever."

"I don't think that things are simply right or wrong. Things are more complicated than that."

Apart from these amazing dialogues, there was this heart wrenching story about how a mother who loses her son in plane crash gives hope to another mother whose daughter survives..this story was simply out of this world..I have never cried so much after watching any Grey's episode as much as I did after watching yesterday. Watching Grey's is some sort of emotional catharsis :(

And continuing my cosmic theory, you know I randomly picked an episode of Friends from my collection. I have not named the episodes, so I just picked Season 5 Episode 2..and look what it turns out to be!! the one in which Monica is trying to convince Rachel that she has to let go of Ross as he is now married to Emily but Rachel wants to tell Ross that she is still in love with him..and when she tells it to him finally, Ross says "it is always great when someone tells you they love you."

This cosmic theory is driving me crazy :( There was another instance that happened in office that deserves another full length post about emotional stability!! Will write it as well :)