Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
These were the ones I got.
Am guessing this is from Arpita..
This is from Jaspreet..
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Hi again.. it's me playing the tune of Karz. I felt so happy when I played it for the first time without any mistake. The notes were
G# F# G# A, G# F# G# A, G# F# G# A F#,
F# F# D# F# G# F, F F# G# G# F#
All that is required is practise, practise, and practise.. Isn't it wonderful that only seven notes can make an awesome music. Fascinating ain't it? Will put some another song next time.. Ciaos..
Friday, December 17, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
this was the link by the Dil Chahta Hai community on FB. I had to put this!! How can I not?! If I make a list of Hindi movies you have to see before you die, this one will come in Top 5 for sure.
And this dialogue will rank 1 in my list.
Tara - Aaj maine tumhare bare me ek nayi baat jani hai..kehno ko to tum logo se milte ho, unse baat karte ho lekin tumhari ek alag hi duniya hai..tum apne khwaab kisi se nahi baante..balki main to yeh kahungi jo log tumhe jaante hai vo bhi nahi jaante..
Sid - Aur yeh aap kaise keh sakti hain..
Tara - Darwaza band hai andar koi ja nahi sakta, bakse ko kas ke tala lagaya hua koi kuch chura nahi sakta..aur yeh..in aankhon ke peeche kaun si duniya chhupi hai..kya pata..
I need to find this scene. Tara..how deep you can go?? I want to be like her. If only..
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
OMG..It looks like that I have a full fledged tond in this pic...yikessssss...
This wig is of my manager in office..borrowed it from her to get clicked :P
I will also buy one sometime..it is so cool..how different can clothes make us all look..
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
1. When Ethan's mother Isabel says to the judge to stop his pain and let him live a life of dignity
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
A year in which I lost a little of my innocence..
A year in which I travelled outside Delhi after 5 years..
A year in which I travelled in an airplane for the first time ever..
A year in which I saw the beach and sea waves for the first time ever..
A year in which I walked the deserted streets in a mountain at 12 in the night...
A year in which I swam in an 80-feet deep lake relying only a life jacket..
A year in which I worked on a 6 month long project to a 6 minute project..
A year in which I got screamed at for not putting italicised inverted commas..
A year in which my oft repeated phrase has been "witnessed a growth of X%, primarily due to"..
A year in which I had some great gossip sessions..
A year in which I dressed up as a Hippie (with Dabangg sunglasses) for the office costume party..
A year in which I made and lost some great friends..
A year in which I sang a medley of songs with my fellow cabbies DJ in my croaked voice..
A year in which I literally fought a battle to reach office..
A year in which I actually prayed for no rain, in spite of my eternal love for it :(
A year in which I saw Yamuna flowing over the danger mark..
A year in which I got a certificate for being a quarter finalist in a pictionary game..
A year in which I got my first (maybe last) promotion ever :(
A year in which I came back so happy after a good day (read: no work)..
A year in which I came and cried nights after some really horrible days (and people) at work..
A year in which I realized how good case studies clinical psychologists can do on some characters in office.
A year in which I cut my first birthday cake ever..
A year in which I danced on Khawaja Mere Khawaja in front of the entire office (Thanks Karan!!)
A year in which I started loving Fridays more than ever..
A year in which I started getting goosebumps from Sunday evenings..
A year in which I also realized how far behind have I been left..
A year in which I hurt so many people :(
A year in which I questioned my self and my existence ( still do that )
A year in which I was taught so many lessons by life..
If only, I could teach life a lesson one day.....
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I just love Sir Salman Rushdie. He is a brilliant writer and am in total awe of him ever since I have read Midnight's Children. I have started reading his next Luka and the Fire of Life and the following passage is an excerpt form the first chapter, just love his imagination!! His writing gives me a high!! I still remember his description of Qara Koz in The Enchantress of Florence...what a piece of writing it is!!!! And Saleem Sinai of my favourite book ever Midnight's Children..what magic that book is...Sigh..he is never going to get a Nobel :(
It's a pity that people don't read much of him out of hatred for him writing The Satanic Verses (which I desperately want to read, not the ebook but hardcover, but sadly banned in India)
The only thing that I look forward to these days is his writing :'(
Just read this passage!!
When Luka was only a few years old, his father's hands acquired lives and even minds of their own. They had names too; there was Nobody (the right hand) and Nonsense (the left), and they were mostly obedient and did what Rashid wanted them to, such as waving about in the air when he wanted to make a point (because he liked to talk a lot), or putting food in his mouth at regular intervals (because he liked to eat a lot). They were even willing to wash the part of Rashid he call bee tee em, which was extremely obliging of them. But, as Luka quickly discovered, they also had a ticklish will of their own, especially when he was within their reach. Sometimes when the right hand started tickling and he begged "Stop, please stop", his father replied, "It's not me. In fact, Nobody's tickling you", and when his left hand joined in and Luka, crying with laughter protested, "You are , you are tickling me", his father replied, "You know what? That's just Nonsense"
You are truly next to God as Prateik says.. Will keep looking forward to you always..
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Still not feeling well :(
Please help me God!! I don't want to remain stuck forever..Will I be able to break this cycle?
Saw Anjaana Anjaani finally..liked it..not great though..just about ok!!
So quote of the day is from it only..it comes before the clock outside the church..
Love is not finding someone to live with, it's finding someone you can't live without
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I had written a post Of Lovers not made for each other, that post made people think I am in love ;) here is another version but with a happier conext. Some instances have been inspired which you will figure out, the rest howevr is me..
Here it is...
Six billion people..six billion souls.. and all you just need is one..Yes, I have found my soul mate and you know who it is? Of course you know that who could else be...It is you :)
I don't know why but ever since we have been together, my life has changed. There is this new optimism and a sense of exhilaration that has come up, the two things which I don't have a good relationship with. You have brought a new hope in my life that yes..there is someone there for me..someone who will listen to me..you have brought this new zeal in me to survive..to fight..to not procrastinate..you are like a beacon of light in the stormy sea I am sailing my rudderless ship..At the end of the day, when I see you or hear your voice, it makes me fresh just like the smell of the parched ground when the first monsoon rains come..It is like you are my rainbow bringing the colours in my dull life..
As Ross said to Emily, that when he is with her she brings out a totally different side to him, it is the same with me..I am an altogether new person when I am with you, a persona to me which I knew I ever had, you bring out the best of me..perhaps an idealized version of myself which I always wanted to be but owing to circumstances had to retreat that new 'I' into a shell to protect that side from this dark world..and also you bring out the romantic in me which I never thought I could be one ;)
You know I read somewhere that God intentionally did not make our fingers webbed..because he wanted someone else's fingers to fit into ours when we join hands. Holding hands is God's first sign of people in love. As corny it may sound, but when I hold your hands, it makes me feel connected to you..to your heart..
You remember the song Tum Se Hi from Jab We Met, Aditya sees Geet everywhere he goes..in his office, in his work, in the rains, in his dreams.. the same effect you have cast on me. You have become an inseparable part of my existence. You are not there but still you are there. You know when people look at the stars at the night and how they find patterns there like some ship or etc. I see your face in those stars..in the patterns those shiny cottony clouds make.. in the sand that has been left ashore by the all powerful sea waves..I see you everywhere..as if you have touched my soul and I was born just to be with you..
According to a Chinese tradition, people gift a ring to their beloved that is worn on the ring finger as its nerve has a straight connection to the heart..Today I found one more reason for that..Join both your hands..Now with all your fingers joined, try to separate your thumbs..they would easily separate out..try this for the next finger they would also..But try separating your ring fingers, it would be very hard to move them away from each other..that is why I am giving you this ring as this would never be separated from you :)
Sometimes I get this urge to mess up your hair..to slap you like a kid..to give you a big hug..to dance in the rain..to wear your shirt and sometimes just to keep looking at you. I don't know why but it comes from within..
Yesterday was full moon night and when I was young, someone told me that if you try and focus on the moon, you will see God in the moon. I always tried but somehow I could not. I tried that same thing again and you know what I saw? I saw you.. as if you have become my God..perhaps I was missing you so much that is the reason but from that moment, it is as if I have found out what that eternal entity siting in the heaven looks like.
Someone asked me that who is the one for whom I will be willing to die a thousand deaths just to spend some moments with you. I closed my eyes and saw you. It made me think that I was born just to be with you.
Sometimes, I pinch my self that to make sure that I am not living a dream. It is for the first time that I feel happy and being happy makes me happy instead of being sad makes me happy. You are the exuberance of my life..of my existence.. I just pray that you are there with as long as I am there. I cannot imagine my life without you..you are the purpose of my life.. Miss you always..
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I remember watching Jaane bhi do yaaron for the first time ever on 26 January 2010 i.e. Republic Day. I had heard it to be the funniest Hindi film ever, instead I found it be one of the saddest films ever (of course, not in a ridiculing sort of way!). There was this uneasy hopelessness and a feeling of tragedy associated with it..as a black comedy, it was meant to be this way but it made me real sad..And see the co-incidence of fate, here I am watching Peepli [Live] on a day before 15 August i.e. Independence Day..
Peepli [Live] is one of the finest films that I have seen in a long long time and must say I had the privilege of watching a film second day first show ;) that would go down as a classic in the years to follow. Another black comedy in the same league as Jaane bhi do.. the satirical film would leave you in splits. Behind the veneer of humour, the movie is full of pathos and has a utter melancholy and dystopian side attached to it.
By now, many of you who haven't see the film (Stop reading this crap and watch it now), the film is about a debt ridden farmer who is tricked by his brother who convinces him to commit suicide as his death would give them monetary compensation to survive. A local reporter overhears this and contacts a national TV channel for this 'Exclusive' story. And here it starts, the India TV syndrome to grab the most eyeballs leads to all channels covering this story leading to a mela at Natha's house. Since Peepli by-elections are also taking place, the politicians enter the fray as they say 'rajneeti ki rotiyaan sekna'. The beauty of the film lies that without preaching so much it tries to portray so many issues - the paid news, the media wars, the caste politics, the corruption, the useful (or useless) schemes, rural migration, American lobbying, the life in rural India, the sensationalism in the media, and so many more..
In one scene, Naths's brother Budhia says something like this "agar marega to kitni izzat hogi" and Natha replies "agar zinda hi nahi rahenge to izzat ka kya karenge." In another dialogue (the strength of the film), a politician says "aaj kal zindagi to bell bottom ho gayi hai, aur khudh khushi to jeans se nikalta hua pet." The obsession to grab TRPs is so fierce that Natha is followed even when he goes to defecate "18vi baar ja raha hai lagta hai julaab ho gaya hai" or that scene where Deepak psychoanalyses Nath'a multi colored turd "Manovigyaniko ke mutabik manushya ke mal se uski mansik stithi ka pata lagaya ja sakta hai aur yeh raha Natha ka aakhri aasan"
My favourite subplot of the film was with Rakesh and the poor farmer Mahto. Rakesh watching the eight-pack ab ribs showing farmer digging and he remarks "C******, kaun sa khajana khod raha hai", later realising that Mahto used to sell that mud to a brick kiln to survive and one day Mahto dies while digging, as if in a way all this time he was digging his own grave.. This scene brought a lump in my throat.. In another hard hitting scene, Rakesh goes and tells Nandita ( a Brakha Dutt look alike) that does only Natha matter? Don't the lives of other nameless farmers who are living in horrifying conditions matter to us? and she pragmatically replies "This is journalism, if you can't survive it then don't be in it" This scene summed up what we are witnessing in our society today...
Apart from the media, the politician class isn't spared either.. the red tape has become so entrenched in our bureaucracy that even Kafka would be surprised. Rajeev Gandhi famously remarked that only 15 paise reach the poor of every one rupee spent on them. It's not that we do not have the resources but everyone wants to have a pie of the resources. Like the election symbol of the Jan Samman Party (look at the irony, samman???) was a lock and a key, but the problem is who will put the key in the lock? Lal Bahadur to de diya lekin use lagvayega kaun? TV to de diya lekin bijli kaun dega ghar me?? Natha card to start kar diya lekin lagoo state governments karengi (the same is happening with Right to Education).. Mare hue kisano ke liye yojana hai lekin zinda kisano ke liye nahi.. marne ke ichhuk kisano ke liye ek yojana start kar do.. How ridiculous is that?
But perhaps, my best scene was when Natha's goat playfully nudges him while he tries to sleep and he tries to shoo them away, but ultimately gives in to them and he starts playing with them.. Amazing scene..vulnerable, innocent, dreamy Natha..
Take a bow Anusha Rizvi (and please can we have less of publicity hungry Aamir Khan) it is her script and the script and the direction truly belong to her. A special mention for all characters epecially beedi phuking kickass Amma and her fiesty kulta Bahu, Budhia, Deepak, Rakesh, and Nandita..Mahangayi dayan and desh mera rangras hai babu deserve special mention too..
Talking of media, I remember in Class 11, in English exam, we had to write on "In India, the media is glamour struck". Since it was pre-India TV days, everybody had gone on and on about how media is obsessed with Bollywood ( I know Siddharth would hate me even more for using this term) and then our ma'am said it is not only about Bollywood, the glamour in the sense means that the media has made an issue as tragic and scary as the Iraq war in to some sort of a fantasy. And how things have changed, if we are told to write on this topic today, books could be written. I am not crtiticising the media but the needless romanticisation that it has become famous for. The 26/11 attacks, the Sania Shoaib marriage, the Prince in a hole, the Arushi murder case, the Gudiya-what will-she-do-now case (remember her, the lady who was raped by her father in law) and so many more issues that media has gone overboard.. Peepli [Live] showcase this brilliantly..The Saif 12vi-umar-ka-chumbhan!!
I have gone a bit hyperbole (an understatement) but Peepli made me think a lot. I wanted to write about left and right wing economic policies as well but I guess I will keep them for another post.
Long time, I had written about a movie. Peepli [Live] is worth watching again and again..
P.S. Since I have written so much of Peepli, dialogue of the day is from the trailer of Anjaana Anjaani
Kiara: Maine tumhe bahut jaane lagi hun..tum anjaane hi acche the Aakash...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
He is like my idol..I always wanted to be a brilliant journalist like him (there are others on the list too..)
Anyway what he said I will write later..
Back from Goa..I am in love with the sea waves..Can sit there all day..
P.S. - I am a horrible horrible person..I always land up in trouble or put others in to it..perhaps that is why God also does not support me :(
Thursday, August 5, 2010
This is one of my favourite episodes when Rachel comes and watches Ross kissing Emily she realizes that nothing will happen even if she tells Ross that she loves him so much :(
I love Rachel's emotions in this episode..the way she said "I just came to say Congratulations" and she keeps on crying :(
The thing about Love is..Love is when you shed a tear and still want that person, it is when that person ignores you and you still love them unconditionally, it is when that person loves someone else but you still smile and say I am happy for you , when all you really do is cry...
You will know that you love someone when you want him/her to be happy even if it means that you are not a part of their happiness..
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Hmmm.. Inception.. awe inspiring.. What did I watch?? I can watch it again!! reminded me of No Smoking..another brilliant film..Hmm
Song of the day : Inception inspired.. kaisi hai yeh ruth jisme phool banke dil khile..
Friday, July 23, 2010
Dialogue of the day:
Aditya: Geet pata hai, tumne mujha kitna hurt kiya hai...
Main tera sarmaya hun..jo bhi main ban paya hun..tum se hi ..tum se hi..raaste mil jate hai..manzile mil jaati hain...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
the voice in my head gives me a warning..
how long will you on cribbing..
Till you finally find what do you want to do for a living...
The voice is my head is my all weather companion..
It makes me laugh till the point of exhaustion..
and makes me cry on my life as if I am peeling an onion..
As I try to decipher the enigma of Mona Lisa's smile..
the voice in my head says painter or artist for a while..
As I admire the resplendent moves of a a contemporary hip hopper..
the voice in my head echoes 'I too am a disco dancer'..
As I take an ambulatory stroll..
the voice in my head gives me another phone call..
See those pigeons flying in full vigour..
Just get your camera to capture them in full splendour..
As I shed copious tears while watching Up in the Air..
the old monster in my head screams hmm..the director's chair...
Confused, ambitious, perplexed, helpless, frustrated, hope hopen it makes me..
As I see an author, philosopher, or a tarot card reader...
if only the voice in my head could wake up the voice in my heart from its deep slumber..
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Then Schrodinger's wave equation would have tough competition to be called as the one of the complex equations in Physics as Life's Perpetual Complexity Equation would give it a run for its money..Life's Perpetual Complexity equation has this special qualtiy that the number of variables in the equation is also variable depending upon each individaul, such as date, time, period, people around you, mangal, budh, shani, shukra, rahu, ketu, and the list goes on..
One day I will get the Nobel Prize for solving the Life's Perpetual Complexity Equation.. Then I will laugh at Einstein who got Nobel for Photoelectric effect!!!! rather than the theory of relativity..heehaw! I must start preparing my speech for it as Phoebe and Rachel do..Phoebe says "Oh!! It's just so unexpected..I uh..oh boy, I tell you it is just such an honour to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and you know to win for a massage"
I love you Phoebe!
Thanks to Aastha for being the inspiration behind this post!
Noor-e-khuda, tu kahan chupa hai hume yeh bata..yun na humse nazre chura....
Dialogues of the day:
1. Abey luti hui Sultanat ke pite hue sultan
2. Wha re lallu, kya sochi door ki, shakal hai langoor ki, lekin chaht kisi hoor ki
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
This is what Javed Akhtar tweeted today..
Maine yeh keh kar dil ko samjhaya hai...vo jo chala gaya vo mera tha hi nahin....
Vo bewafa hua to iska gham nahi..hum be yakeen ho gaye haan iska gham to hai..
So true these lines are :'(
It's only words and words are all I have to take you heart away...
Notting Hill: I am just a girl, standing in front of boy, asking him to love her..
The day I died was the best day of my life...
Jerry Maguire: You complete me...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign le kar aao jisne mere haath par yeh likh diya tha...
The view from the office's 6th floor balcony on the day it was raining..it seemed I could catch the clouds..
Hitesh's heart shaped lunch box ;D jahan dekho apna dil baanta rehta hai...dil to lunch box hai ji..
Talking of shapes, I got this beautiful bottle..kya figure hai.. Men would appreciate more..36-24-28..As they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, a bottle can be as beautiful :)
This one I clicked when Disha was putting make up while looking in the rear view mirror.. Party me jaa rahi thi to gaadi me hi make up shake up start ho gaya..
This one is the standing truck!!!!! while going to office, it became some sort of a tourist attraction...Hope the driver is fine..
Bhaisahab Dhoni ki shaadi thi...to uski shaadi to hum bhi manayenge...kaaala sha kaala.. dulhan ke dewar yun tum dikhlayo na yun tewar..
I know the last one should get the Razzie for worst pic ever ;D I got this clicked at Shopper's Stop while window shopping..
Anyway I have got a digicam..so will put more pics..yipeee
Dialogue of the week: Chal Dhano, teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawaal hai..
Song of the week: Aishaaaaaaaa
Friday, July 9, 2010
Why was I left behind...really really really behind...
Anyway... mere pass gaadi hai bangla hai bank balance hai..tumhare paas kya hai...
mere paas kuch bhi nahi hai :'(
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
2 days.. 2 incidents.. 2 people..
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Jay: Kabhi kabhi khush rehne ke liye khul kar jeena padta hai...you need to break free and loose control..
Hmmm..will I ever be able to break free :(
Will I ever get my own love story :(
I loved the scene when Simran goes and dances in the rain..and another scene where she gets drunk when J say my wife is pregnant..
It is a bit embarrassing but I totally loved Simran's character when she falls in love with J and when Jay says pyar vyar kuch nahi hota and she says nahi! aisa mere saath hua hai..and she apologises for faling in love with him...:(
Loved the songs especially Sadka kiya.. and Bahara Baharaa..
Kuch khwaab dekhe hain..kuch rang soche hain....
Ab maine kal apne tere sang soche hain...
Is raah me jab bhi tu saath hoti hai,
Kisson ke panno ki har baat hoti hai
Roor mein jo hui fida..toh pal me uthi koyi sada..
Ke dil se hua judaa judaa..toota main iss tarah..
Sadka kiya yun ishq ka..ke sar jhuka jahan..deedar hua....
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I am still crying..
1. Christina: I choose my gift
2. Owen: People do matter
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
ooo..jane teri aankhen thi ya baatien thi vajah, hue tum jo dil ki aarzoo..
tum paas ho ke bhi..
tum aas ho ke bhi..
aise hai humko gile
tumse na jane kyun..
milon ke hai fasle..
tumse na jane kyun...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Somethings have changed..something has changed definitely.. You know, for the last 15-20 days or so, I feel everything is different around me..I am feeling as if something is going to happen.. I don't know whether it is going to be a good thing or a bad thing..but I can sense the aura..there is this feeling of void as if something is unfulfilled..I don't know what it is.. For the last 5 months or so, I had worked with only 2-3 people in office but in the last month, I had worked with a whole new people..So, a lot of people know me..and no! I am not bragging!! How could I?? So people come to my desk, talk to me about random stuff, chit chat..it is kind of surreal because I have never been comfortable in knowing so many people..In school, I wasn't a famous or a popular student...was more like (and still am!!) a nerdish kid :( In college, I had only 20 people in my class and some friends from school who I knew very well..So I wasn't very much a known face in college either..It is not as if I am the most popular person in Office, I still am the least known face because of my inherent nature to not open up to people easily, but a lot of people (according to my standards!!) now know me.. So it is kind of different to see that i could be known by people..moreover, I am a very boring person..I won't start talking unless the other person starts first..And that makes me kind of uncomfortable that people coming and talking to me.. perhaps, it is this that is making me very restless!! I found some old friends on Facebook who said they specially searched me.. It was kind of weird because I have never been remembered by people or worth remembering so when that friend says that she specially searched my name because I was her good fiend, it made me feel good and bad.. Good obviously and bad because it made me feel as if things are changing.. and I can sense things are no longer the same as Phoebe said that she can hear the voices in her head.. It is as if something is forcing me to grow up and I don't want to.. as if some force is pushing me to change my personality which I don't want to..Everything feels incomplete these days.. there is something missing perhaps happiness, contentment, satisfaction... I don't know what life has in store for me as I turn 23 this week about which I am even more sad (will write another post about it as well).. I miss the things they used to be..
Came back from trip last week.. was kind of OK!! More about in later.. Ciaos!
Monday, May 10, 2010
I don't know what has happened to me but for the past few days there is this inexplicable feeling that you have cast over me. I am thinking about you all the time. When I don't get to see you, I just want to be with you. I keep on laughing and smiling on my own when I think about what you said or what you did. And when I am with you, I just want to keep looking at your face which helps me forget everything else that is taking place in my life. Your face has cast this spell over me. I want to see you, listen what you say, want to tease you, make you smile. I miss you like anything. I love it when you come over and say things to me which you don't tell others. It makes me feel special.
You are like someone who I always wanted to be like. Your ability to make people long for you is simply amazing. You are like my idol, in fact you are my idol. An idol is something Utopian. Yes, I can never be like you but in you, I see a perfectionist version of myself. Is there anything that you cannot do! Some people say that true love is finding your soul's counterpart in others. Perhaps that is why I see my soul in you? So, how do I say this? Am I falling in love with you or is it just plain liking for a friend? I consider those people lucky in life who get their true love!! Never ever, not even for a moment I thought that there could be something between you and me. We are not meant to be together. My love for you is platonic. I don't want to lose your friendship at any cost. But I can't help it. I know there is no chance for us but still you are so good that you made me fall in love with you. I want to get over you as quickly as possible but the irony is the more I try not to think about you, the more I suppress my feelings about you, the more I end falling in love with you all over again. It is as if you control me. Any song I hear, anything I do just reminds me of you. I cry every time when this thought comes to my mind that we are not made for each other. Sometimes I feel why did it have to be me. You will ask if I want to get over you, when was I under you? but the thing is I didn't realize when did this thing happen?
I sometimes feel you deliberately ignore me, and even the snob that I am I would not bow unless you talk to me first but it is fine by me who am I to say you anything, you have your own life, your own love, own dreams. I know that you treat me as a good friend and I am very happy about that. To just enter your good books is a sort of an achievement for me. But sometimes I do feel life has been very unfair. Life just doesn't turn out the way you want it to be.
Should I be sorry for what has happened? I never even want to tell you the way I feel about you. I just want to keep loving you in silence, I don't know who is to blame for this mess that has happened. I just wish you get everything I life and you get all the success in life for if you fail, it means my idealist soul fails. I don't know whether my love for you is like Catherine's for Heathcliff as she said that her love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods, time will change it but her love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath, a source of little visible delight but necessary. Nothing can change it. I just hope it is like hers but also I want to get over you as quickly as possible. I want to love you but I don't want to love you. See how paradoxical you have made me? You don't understand me and perhaps you never will but I don't expect anything from you at all. I don't know what the future holds for me but one thing is certain I will always always remember you. You are the one who made me feel and understand what love is, what it means to care for someone. Hope that years later when you hear my name, you at least remember me.
Miss you always. This is the best I could express my feelings for you, for never ever can I say to you or even want you to read this...
Yours (if I can use that)
P.S. Yamini, if you even copy even one line, I will kill youuuuuuuuu